John and Ida

They met over twenty-five years ago. At first they were acquaintances; her father had him paint the apartments he rented out on Oakland Avenue. He worked fixing copiers, doing plumbing work, painting, and other odd jobs with home repairs. She worked Downtown in finance and accounting. He was four years younger than her. She had met him a few times before because his friend Patsy’s uncle, Salvatore, lived four doors down from the row house she lived in with her parents. He lived in Dormont where he spent most of his childhood. They were both close with Patsy’s family; they just never knew each other.

He had jus t gotten a divorce. His ex-wife and his one-year-old son were living in Michigan just outside of Detroit.

In September of 1986, Patsy’s sister Maria was getting married. They were both going to the wedding. To the mass at St. Regis Church, she wore a shiny black and cobalt blue suit. After that, she went home to change for the reception at St. Valentine’s Hall in Bethel Park. She showed up to the reception in a black strapless sequin dress. This caught his eye. He approached her. You weren’t wearing that in church, he said.

“I would never wear something like this to church.”

She was also wearing a gold ring on her hand. He asked her if that meant anything. Real smooth. She gave him her phone number that night, and they went out on their first date not long after that. She doesn’t remember the exact date, but she knows it was right before her birthday in September. On their first date, they went to South Park Game Preserve. There they walked around feeding ducks, looking at buffalo and peacocks.

Her parents weren’t exactly thrilled about their daughter dating this man. He was young. He had an ex-wife and a son he was so far away from him. He worked odd jobs. He didn’t go to college and he was in over his head in debt. But his father loved her. They got along very well. He was a wonderful man who loved his family. They were together for less than a year when his father had a heart attack. He was in the hospital for weeks and he couldn’t speak. Instead, he drew pictures and wrote words on a notepad. When I saw these pictures over ten years after his death, I saw he drew pictures of my mom, asking for her and wondering where she was. My parents got engaged on Christmas Eve of 1987 about six months after my grandfather Emilio passed away.

About a year and a half later, they got married in September of 1989. It was around the time of their three year anniversary. The mass was held at St. Paul’s Cathedral (where everyone in our family gets baptized, makes their First Holy Communion, and gets married). In total 80s fashion, her dress had long puffy sleeves covered in lace, pearls and sequins. He wore a black tuxedo with a bow tie. Her flowers were red roses and white orchids. He wore a red rose and an orchid on his tuxedo jacket. They went to Hawaii on their honeymoon. And that’s how their story began.